This week has been one of very distinct highs and lows. More lows than highs I should add, rather unfortunately so. But let’s start with the high.
I am now officially the mum of a teenager. My baby is no more – not that he has been one for a long time, he has overtaken me in weight and height already ages ago – but now he is thirteen, I feel incredibly old. I am so proud of the young man he is turning into, he is the kindest, most beautiful soul I have ever known. I really hope the real world will not change him – or at least not too much. Of course he had a party, games and unholy amounts of pizza and fizzy drinks (sorry other mums). He loved it. His friends were happy. The house still stands. Mission accomplished I’d say.
Now to the lows. And they suck big time. The first one came mid week when after struggling for a couple of weeks with some niggling pain in my shoulder I spend most of my time in work throwing in pain killers and still being in agony. So begrudgingly I visited my GP and it was a bit of a blow to hear what he had to say. Arthritis in both shoulder joints, with the trouble causing one currently inflamed. Now unfortunately I happen to be allergic to anti-inflammatories so bags of frozen peas have to do it together with some pain killers and the other rather unhelpful advise I got was to change jobs. No thanks, I really like what I am doing.
Low No 2. This one hit me right where it hurts. Emotionally. After I mentioned the anticipated date with the Cowboy, I have to admit it probably wasn’t the best idea to try rekindle this particular romance. Things came to a head this week when I had to raise the white flag and tell him it wasn’t working for me the way it was going and he, instead of trying to swing things round, first readily agreed and said bye, but then changed his mind yet again. Particularly rubbish as our trip to Edinburgh is now a little up in the air and I really do not want to go at all as I really don’t want to spend the whole weekend arguing over the same again and again. I am not best pleased about just how deep this has hit me (again) as I thought I would be more prepared to handle it, but obviously I’m not. And I do admit, I again defaulted on my self-induced alcoholic hiatus and had a drink. Still don’t like the stuff much but at least I didn’t have a headache.
So I guess I have to wait and see but I’m getting more and more short-fused. After all, it shouldn’t be asked too much of a guy in his late 30s to behave a little more like a grownup and not constantly throw his toys out of the pram.