I normally try not to hold grudges, but I’m pretty certain the Cowboy is never going to qualify for any level of forgiveness on my part so this is going to be very personal. I actually wish everyone who knows this guy is going to come across this at some point just so they know what a great human being he is. Not. If you followed my blog, you will know him and me have had an ongoing thing for quite some time. A couple of years to be precise. Not a brief encounter by any standards.
It had become very clear over the last few weeks, this just wasn’t working out and I realised it had to end and stay like that. He always made a huge thing about his boundaries and keeping our lives separate and I hadn’t given it too much thought until a while ago, but now I wanted us to be more serious, he kept promising we would be and it just never happened. So I started pushing. About his family, about his friends. His one friend in particular. His reaction was a little surprising. He blew his lid, got absolutely outraged and then we split up again. He still gave me the I love you, it’s not you it’s me routine. This just had to stop. But as I said, I was weak when it came to him. I would have gotten back in touch, he would have mellowed and the whole game would have started all over again until the next row.
There was one way to ensure this would not happen. He was so protective of his personal life, he would never forgive me for reaching out to one of his friends. So I did. I send a message to the female friend he had been on holiday with when we split up for a couple of months earlier in the year. Carefully worded, I didn’t want to accuse him of anything or seem bitter, just express my regret things hadn’t worked out and ask her to look out for him. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t even read it, just tell him some weirdo send her some message. But it meant the definite end to this and that was what I needed.
I was not prepared for what happened next. I was getting ready for work when all of a sudden the Cowboy started calling me. And she replied to my message. Because she was his girlfriend of seven years. EVERYTHING just made sense now. I did not talk to him. But I did talk to her. And I still am. This whole thing is still unraveling. What we have pieced together so far is not pretty.
He cheated on her the whole time they were together (I wasn’t the first one who contacted her). He even went as far as rekindling things with his previous girlfriend about a year into their relationship, dating both of them for several months. He hooked up with girls on his trips to the States. He was and probably is on every dating site going. The crowning glory was him, after our trip to Edinburgh, taking her there five weeks later walking round the same places pretending he had never been. What. A. Total. Dick. That same evening, she got one phone call, some more drunken lies, complete denial and was told he didn’t want to see her anymore.
Now, I’m so pissed with this dick, I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire. But, granted I lost a significant part of my life to him and his bullshit, it’s pretty minor in comparison to what he did to her. I didn’t want a ring on my finger or live with him or have anymore kids. But for her, that was the future she was living towards. To just take seven years away from such a lovely person, that takes quite something.
This guy, and he does not deserve to be called a man, is an utter coward. A narcissist psycho. With utter disregard for other human beings. No doubt he is already on to the next victims. So ladies, if you come across a Cowboy or a Kettlethief on your dating travels, who happens to work in banking in London and is in his late 30s, take a moment to check in with me. I might be able to save you a lot of time.