The Name Game

The vast majority of dates I have been on tend to be the result of me swiping one way or the other. Well, I don’t actually swipe that often, normally when I’m totally bored and more often than not I let friends or colleagues swipe for me – with shall we say interesting results at times, but you know, it’s good to keep an

open mind. I hate the bee swiping, the time limit you get really hacks me right off – the stress is enough to take all the fun out of it. I do like it though that the guys have to wait for us to make the first move, nothing bad in keeping them on their toes little bit. Not that this improves the quality of replies you get at all unfortunately, a lot of them still seem to just want one thing but hey, at least the concept is a good one.

But I digress so let us return to the original point of this – names. We can like it or not, we all have certain associations with a surprisingly large number of names. Good ones of course.  And not so good ones. Bad ones. And REALLY bad ones. If a guy happens to share the name of one of my ex-husbands (I appreciate that this does make me sound ever so slightly like a Liz Taylor apprentice), he is so far out, if the earth was flat he would fall right off the edge. There simply is no saving grace, the bad vibes are just oozing out for me. I’m getting better with the text dumper one’s but in the first few months after our break-up, I would not have touched another dude having that name with a barge pole. Well, maybe with a smoking hot poker. Tudor style so to speak. Now the picture can swing it. If he’s really cute, it’s a yay. All others are still out.

Another odd one are kids’ names. I do face quite a dilemma with this one because not only do I have boys, they also have fairly common names and that really sucks sometimes. But I would just find it so weird dating someone when it would make me feel like I’m telling them off every time I use their name. Also with good old WhatApp in the picture – what if I happen to accidentally text them something you know, not quite intended for them? Don’t laugh about that one because a) you know I am capable of puking over a guy on a date and b) I am capable of random shit full stop. So if I happen to start talking to someone sharing either of their names and there have been two or three, they get a code name. Like Pizza Guy. Just to be on the safe side.

Then there are the literary and historical ones. Not just your Darcys and Josephs, but I am sure I am not the only one who has names stuck in her head and they have a certain atmosphere to it. You might not even really remember what it is about that particular one, but you just know you don’t want to go there. It just spells doom. With a hint of disaster. You might possibly give the most amazing guy a wide birth this way but the beauty of missed chances like this is that it is extremely unlikely you will ever know.

And then some names are just too strange. I know we can’t help what our parents decided we should walk through life as, but seriously. You know when you run scenarios through your head and come to introducing this new guy to your friends and you have to go, this is so and so and you just know they gonna look at you like are you for real. I can’t do it. Maybe because I know my friends are a bit like me and not the most diplomatic people in the world but then my kids aren’t much better. I wonder where they got that from.

Do I have a favourite no go name at the moment? Well, I wouldn’t want to give it too much importance, but Superman has a difficult standing at the moment…..

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