The one that was extraordinarily Rubbish

Sometimes you have a date that is so bad, you wish you would have just stayed on the sofa with Netflix and chill because it would have been a great investment of your time, even with static on the screen. Because the guy you’re out with is just such a dickhead you go into don’t fight just flight mode as fast as you possibly can.

Wouldn’t it have been for the large shopping centre we met up in, I would have cried for days about the waste of my time. For starters, he was late to the show. Like, really late. Half an hour to be precise. And didn’t even say sorry for being so, but simply said he had to get there after all. Yes my friend, so did I. Not a good start. So we went on a little wander and I attempted some conversation. It was painful. There was a distinct lack of interest in pretty much everything. Pretty much every reply I got was thrown at me in some dismissive, snotty manner that eventually made me stop any attempt to converse. As we were walking along in slightly awkward silence, he suddenly turned around to me and told me that if he had to walk any slower, he might as well stop. Now he was quite tall, but so am I and I certainly do not bumble about. And even so, surely you don’t say something like that to a girl you want to impress.

I was pretty much pissed off at this point already, what an utter twat this guy was. But I needed something to fill my stomach so I asked if he fancied some food. I pretty soon really wished I hadn’t. After some umming and ahhhing, we went to Wahaca and from the moment we sat down, he complained about everything. He could have asked to go somewhere else, so tough shit, I was hungry. When our food arrived he just stared at my plate and declared quite loudly that he had no idea what on earth I was eating but it looked revolting. It was Tacos with sweet potato and some fried plantain. He didn’t know what either was though. I don’t think I actually chewed my food properly so overwhelming was my desire to ask for the bill and get out of there. Of course he worked out exactly how much we each had to pay. No surprise there.

Surprisingly enough, he offered to walk me to my car. This sudden outburst of chivalry did confuse me a little so I had the sense to inquire why he felt the need to do so. Of course, I could carry my bags to the car myself, but he felt entitled to a snog and a fondle in the backseat.

I lost it a little at that point and started laughing. He was very much taken aback by that because he thought everything had gone great and he should get some reward for the time he had invested in meeting up. So I had to tell him that that had most definitely not been the case and he certainly would not walk one more step with me, let alone be allowed to put his hands, tongue or anything else anywhere near me for that matter. On that note, I just turned round and marched off. What a total arse. At least I had my shopping bags full of consolation prizes! Lesson learned from this – a date in a shopping centre is the way to go if you are not sure about the guy.

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