Rude Boi Calling

As we have established by now, I am a user of dating apps. I like texting. Should be a blast, right? Actually, it’s bloody difficult. Tedious. Hair pulling. And sometimes it’s just downright ‘Dude are we seriously having this conversation right now? Excuse me while I bang my head into the wall.’ You get my drift.

Now the whole point of the initial texting lark is to make yourself appealing enough to a member of the opposite sex to eventually move on to an exchange of numbers and following that maybe, possibly the prospect and realisation of a date. So really, you should try to come across as a nice and lovely person who is mentally stable and of reasonably decent looks.

Apparently, not that easy. Now, I’m using this app where the girls have to text first. I normally send a generic blurb because I can’t be bothered to be creative. My profile clearly states I will do just that btw. So they are warned. So I say Hi, dude messages back. The distance is going to be a problem. What now? You matched me despite the distance and that’s your opening line? Check your settings my friend (my profile says that as well actually). So after that, I’m already in not really a chance mode but I have nothing else to do so the conversation continues a little longer.

Inevitably, we come to the question of what we are looking for. Well he asked. I never ask. To be perfectly honest, my initial assumption is that guys are just looking for a shag. You know, low expectations bring less potential for disappointment. And quite often not that wrong to assume either. So I say my usual. I’m not looking for anything. See where things go. I don’t need to be with someone for the sake of it. Which I think is a reasonable statement. And what else am I meant to say? I’m desperately looking for my knight in shining armour please come and save me? Even if that was the case, I would rather cut my tongue off than say so. Desperation is a sad thing.

You seem to be a bit of a tough cookie. I don’t find that very appealing. Okay. A bit harsh but if you say so. I was being honest and he replied in kind. Fair enough. But then I got this. ‘Before we unmatch, I just wanted to say the picture of you and your son seems to bring out the best in you, you should try be a bit more like that.’ What. The. Fuck. What are you trying to tell me with that?!? That I did not comply with the assumptions you made of me based on a ten minutes exchange of words, a sarcastic profile and a few pictures?

I am still a little pissed off about this. Don’t get me wrong I don’t expect everyone to like my attitude – or me for that matter (Just as a side note someone else told me around the same time he thought I’m really lovely so I am sure I am not doing everything wrong). I know I am not the most accommodating or easiest person to get on with. I can live with that, no problem. We all depend on others accepting our imperfectness on various aspects and do so in return. Those people are normally called friends. Family if you’re lucky. So some dude telling me how he thinks I should be, not on.



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